


The Heart Wants What it Wants

by Catwoman22



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: And Loki, Author likes to abuse Bruce Banner, Bruce Banner Feels, Bruce doesn't know what he wants, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Gen, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki Feels, M/M, Virtual Reality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-01 12:51:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2773616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catwoman22/pseuds/Catwoman22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two things Bruce Banner is proud of: 1) Managing to tame the Hulk by controlling his emotions and 2) Never falling in love with demigods who tried to take over the universe. In virtual reality, he can't control anything and this complicates his reality for a lot of reasons, but mostly because of Loki.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I had a dream that the Avengers were in a virtual reality adventure game and I started writing as soon as I woke up. But don't let that stop you from reading, because I did try to make it make sense! This is an eventual Loki/Bruce relationship but there's plenty of emotional whump for both of them in the meantime. Loki has joined the Avengers to make up for New York. He's still his trickster self but he's given up trying to rule the world for now. The fun of fanfiction is that you can change details and ignore entire movies if you choose to (cough cough * Thor the Dark World * cough cough). Thanks for reading!

Bruce slumped into a chair in the conference room at Stark Tower. He could barely keep his head up he was so exhausted. Thor thumped his helmet on the table and jabbed a finger in Bruce's face.

“That was a huge failure. You nearly killed half of your teammates by mistake.”

“Are you sure it wasn't just you showing off like an arrogant ass?” Bruce snapped.

“You are both arrogant asses,” Loki said as he came into the room.

He slid in the seat between Thor and Bruce and gave them exasperated looks. “Sit down.” Loki shot one more glare at Thor over Bruce's head before he sat in his seat, arms crossed over his chest.

The rest of the team filed in, slumping into seats and dropping various weapons on the floor. Fury entered last, shut the door, and stood at the end of the long table. He waited until it was silent before he said, “That was a rehearsal for a trip to Nilheim and you failed. If you don't get it together, I'm sending the Fantastic Four to take back the Casket of Ancient Winters.”

“No!” Tony said, kicking his chair back so that it tipped over with a crash as he stood. “Don't call them in. We can do it, we just haven't had any training.”

“You don't get training in Nilheim.” Fury stared around at all of them with his piercing glare. “We know everything about it. We have satellites there, we've mapped it, but we can't tell you how to survive there. It's all instinct, and none of you passed my training gym test tonight. You'd die from the volcano eruption, drowning, or a spider bite before you even found the casket.”

“Let me create a training program,” Tony said. “I'll make it like a virtual reality game. Like Inception. Avengerception. The program can train us how to survive on Nilheim. If we die in the game, it's not going to matter because we can just try again. I can even track our progress and you can give hard data to the council if that makes you sleep better at night.”

“That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard,” Fury burst out. He paused then looked around at the gathered Avengers. “But I guess we don't have another choice.”

 

**************************************************************************

 

“Stay calm,” a SHIELD agent said as he squirted slimy glue into Bruce's hair and pressed a sticky pad against his scalp. Bruce tried to control his breathing and heart rate, which was hard when he was lying on a metal bed in the cold basement level of Avengers Mansion. The agent paused and looked at him. “Do you want a blanket?”

Bruce shook his head and looked over at Loki lying to his right. Loki gave Bruce one of those warm smiles that felt like it was only for him and he felt himself blush for some reason. At least he wasn't cold anymore.

“We'll put you under a slight sedation,” one of the agents said. Bruce didn't know who it was, but they all looked the same in their black uniforms and close cropped hair. “JARVIS is tracking your brain waves so that if more than half of you are in trouble, the game ends.”

Bruce shivered. Tony kept calling it a game so everyone else did, too, but Bruce couldn't help but feel he was actually going to Nilheim. He'd played one of Tony's virtual reality games before and it was so realistic that he got choked on the smoke and dust in the air.

“You each have someone tracking your individual heart rate and brain waves,” the agent continued, “so we'll pull you out if you need help. Or you can just throw yourself off a cliff to die.”

The Avengers laughed nervously and Loki smiled at Bruce again. That was the last thing he saw before he was standing on a rocky ledge in the whipping wind. He stepped back in shock, feeling droplets from the waterfall splashed against his face. “It's just a game,” he said to himself and turned to orient himself. A waterfall poured into a clear blue stream below him. A forest stretched behind him and to the right was a rocky path leading down into the water.

“Banner!”

He looked back to see Clint and Natasha emerging from the forest.

Bruce stepped away, glad to not be standing so close to the ledge anymore. “Where is everyone else?”

“We were separated,” Clint said. “Probably so we could cover more area in less time.”

“Sure,” Natasha said, shrugging. “Anyway, we know the casket is in a cave of doom and gloom but we don't know where. I think we'll start with the one at the base of this waterfall since we're already here.” She shook Bruce by the shoulders. “Are you okay?”

Bruce nodded and ran a hand over his face. “The sooner we find this thing, the better.”

They were quiet as they headed down to the stream and the only sound was rocks scuffing against their shoes. Bruce's foot slipped and his arms whirled to grab for something. Clint seized his arm and pulled him back to his feet.

Bruce's heart pounded in his chest. “Thanks.” A thought occurred to him as he continued down the cliff. “Can I hulk out here?”

“Probably not,” Clint said. “Hulk is instinctive and does what he wants, which is what our minds are doing right now. I don't think there's room in your head for Hulk's instincts and yours.”

“I'm not doing what I want,” Bruce said. “If I was, I'd be at home reading a book.”

“That's boring,” Clint said. “I'd probably be watching Project Runway.”

“Ugh,” Natasha said. “That guy with the neck tattoo is such a diva.”

“I know, right? I think Kelly's going to win the whole thing.”

“Kelly's trash bag design was inspired.”

Bruce stopped on a grassy ledge and looked around. “Could you guys focus? Your subconscious is annoying.”

Clint laughed. “Deep down, I appreciate fashion and fine arts.”

“Especially trash bag fashion,” Natasha said with a giggle.

Bruce stared at them. “I hope next time we go into this game, I get stuck with Thor or Steve.” He turned and suddenly the rock had shifted into water. He grabbed for Clint's arm but he was too far away and Bruce crashed into the water below. It swallowed him up and dragged him down. He opened his mouth to scream but only inhaled gallons of water that flooded his lungs. He jolted up and took a deep breath, realizing he could breathe again but he was out of the virtual reality. Pulling his helmet off, he looked around at the other Avengers' unconscious bodies lying on the beds.

He blinked at the penlight shining in his eyes. “Are you okay?” an agent asked him.

“I don't know how to swim.”

Within five minutes, Thor and Clint were sitting up on their beds, looking annoyed. After Tony woke up, an agent said, “Let's reset since half of them are dead.”

“Watch out for the giant spiders,” Thor grumbled. “Loki shapeshifted away and they attacked me instead.”

“The rocks turn liquid sometimes,” Bruce added.

Tony sighed and looked at his watch. "And don't look at the damn unicorn."

 


	2. Chapter 2

When Bruce opened his eyes again, he was standing on the same ledge. He looked back, expecting to see Natasha and Clint come out of the forest, but they must have chosen to go a different way. After about five minutes of indecision, he started down the cliff again, grabbing vines as he went. When the rocks turned into liquid, he seized a vine and swung across to another section of rock and let out a whoop when he landed safely on the other side. Not bad for a nuclear physicist who spent more time in the lab than out on the field.

“Watch out for the spiders!” came Loki's voice from far below, then he heard Thor's anguished screaming. “Or not.”

“Loki!” Bruce yelled.

Loki emerged from a cave about 15 feet below and gestured to him. “Jump into the water and swim to me. I know that the casket is in a cave and we have not explored this one sufficiently. Thor keeps dying most inconveniently.”

“I can't swim.”

Loki gestured again. “I shall catch you.”

Before his logical mind could kick in, Bruce jumped. Adrenaline surged through him as he fell and then he plunged into the water below. He kicked and struggled and then strong arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him up.

“Do not fight,” Loki said. “I have you.”

Bruce didn't know if it was the combination of adrenaline, or the fact that his subconscious mind was much more reckless and daring than he would normally be, but he threw back his head and laughed. After a moment, Loki joined in.

“You are insane,” Loki said as he dragged Bruce onto the rocky mouth of the cave. “I said jump and I did not think you would.”

“I trust you.”

An odd look came across Loki's face. “You really should not.”

“Thor should have listened to you. He's dead because he didn't trust you.”

Loki turned away but Bruce saw him smile. “Yes indeed. Stay close to me. I have been to the real Nilheim once and I know why the ancient gods thought it wise to place the Casket here.”

The adrenaline continued to pulse through Bruce's veins long after. He really did crave danger and excitement. Reading a book was so overrated now that he was crawling through a cave behind Loki.

“Are you well?” Loki called back.

Bruce tore his gaze away from Loki's backside. “Um...yeah.”

There was a sudden scuffling noise. Loki kicked Bruce in the face by accident and Bruce jerked back and pressed a hand to his bleeding nose. Before he could speak, Loki had his arms wrapped around Bruce, trapped in the tight space. “Do not move,” Loki hissed in his ear.

Dizzy with adrenaline, Bruce pressed his shirt to his nose to soak up the blood and froze at the scratching noises above his head. “What is it?”

“Spiders,” Loki said. His breath tickled Bruce's neck and Bruce felt a little lightheaded. Suddenly, Loki was yanked away from him. Bruce felt a sharp stab in his neck and then nothing.

When Bruce pulled the helmet off his head, he heard Thor thundering, “If you allow me to be eaten by a spider one more time...!” Bruce looked at Loki and felt a swoop in his stomach. It was weird now that he was back in his more logical mind. There was no adrenaline surge now, so there was no need for his body to react this way just because he looked at Loki.

“That's enough for today.” Fury came over to pull the electrodes off Bruce's head. Bruce tried to smooth his hair down but the gel had dried his hair in clumps. “You were in there an hour. Map out the places you each explored and in the meantime, keep working on the physical training with Coulson. I just want to remind you all that virtual reality is not reality. See you all on Saturday."

  

 


	3. Chapter 3

On Thursday nights, Coulson taught combat skills classes in the gym at Avengers Mansion. They started with sparring and took turns fighting each other while Coulson shouted tips that they could barely hear through foam helmets. Coulson paired them off and Loki soon found himself on his back with Bruce pressed against his chest, holding a hand to his throat.

“You're not checking for enemies above you,” Coulson said as he passed by them.

“The ceiling can be quite dangerous,” Loki gasped, barely able to breathe as Bruce shoved a knee into his chest. He made a choked off noise of surrender and tapped the mat and Bruce let the pressure off his throat and sat back, yanking off his helmet.

“I would have thought you'd be trained better,” Bruce said.

Loki would have made a sarcastic response but he was still catching his breath. Bruce's fighting was unrefined but powerful as if he fought for his life. It made Loki sad to think about that too long. “Coulson asked me to not fight back,” Loki said, taking Bruce's outstretched hand and looking around at the others. Tony wasn't bad, but he wasn't hitting hard enough for Clint's taste. Thor was brute strength and no control, and he was now standing back apologizing as Steve pinched his bloody nose. He smirked and turned to see Bruce gazing at him.

“Are you well?” Loki asked.

“I'm just tired.”

Loki knew he was lying but he didn't know what else to say. He'd noticed a difference in Bruce ever since the virtual reality experiment yesterday, but he hadn't quite figured out why. Not being able to read Bruce's mind was so inconvenient. “Are you going to James Rhodes' birthday party on Saturday night?”

“I tried to delete my e-vite but Fury said I'm the fifth most popular Avenger so I can't disappoint all my fans. Are you going?”

Loki smiled. Bruce's self deprecating humor always made him feel better. “Yes. Fury insisted I go as well.”

Bruce shrugged. “He's making me take Natasha as a date. He thinks people would like me better if I was dating the second most popular Avenger. He's probably right, but I'm annoyed about it anyway.”

“Natasha is not terrible company. I quite like her.”

“We don't get along at all. We fight about almost everything. But to be fair, I fight with every Avenger about everything.”

“All the better for people to believe you are a real couple,” Loki laughed. “I am attending alone. Does that make you feel sorry for me?”

“A little.”

Loki rested an arm on Bruce's shoulder. “Enough to dance one dance with me?”

Bruce looked away and pulled his hoodie over his head. The hood blocked his face but Loki knew from the tension in Bruce's shoulders that something was wrong. “I don't think that's a good idea,” Bruce said after a long pause. “But thanks.” He walked away, leaving Loki wondering if he should apologize, even if he didn't know what he'd said wrong. Before he could decide, Coulson blew a whistle and called them all back to the middle of the room. He studied Bruce's face, but Bruce infuriatingly gave nothing away, even to someone who was as intuitive as Loki. He finally gave up on figuring out Bruce and took out his frustration on the punching bag.

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Loki was only two feet into the ballroom when he sincerely wished he was at home watching all those horror movies he had queued up on the DVR. Thumping bass assaulted him and disco lights flashed in all directions. Bruce and Natasha posed for the cameras and Loki found himself believing their charade. It made his stomach twist. It was unfair that Bruce was so oblivious to Loki's feelings for him.

“Do you want anything to drink?” Bruce asked. Loki shook his head before he realized Bruce was talking to Natasha.

“I don't drink anything I don't make myself.” Natasha patted him on the chest and straightened his tie. “We should probably go dance in a little while. We could play the people watching game.”

“You know I'm terrible at that game.”

“True. You don't notice the obvious. Maybe I can teach you some social skills.”

“I don't need social skills. I keep to myself and I've lived without friends for five years.”

The self loathing radiating from Bruce made Loki wish they were in virtual reality again and he could see the way Bruce's eyes crinkled when he laughed. He couldn't remember ever seeing Bruce laugh in reality.

“Everyone needs friends,” Loki said, on the edge of irritation. “Are the Avengers not your friends? Why do you live in Avengers Mansion if you do not care for friends?”

“It's for convenience,” Bruce said, looking at Loki as if he was an idiot. “We live there so that we can all be centered in New York City instead of spread around town. It's the same reason we have the cards to alert us when SHIELD needs us. It's generous of Tony to build it and let us live there free, but I don't think he likes me much.”

“That is stupid,” Loki said. “You cannot compartmentalize your life that way. Can coworkers not also be friends?”

“I'm stupid?” Bruce's eyes flashed green. “I'm in complete control of my emotions. I don't Hulk out unless I want to, and that's because I've compartmentalized my life. I don't care if it sounds stupid to you, because it's the only way I can manage my life.”

“Stop fighting! The cameras are pointed in our direction and we're supposed to be happy.” Natasha laughed, high and dainty, sounding completely unlike herself. Loki hated the whole charade. He was about to go find where Steve was hiding and join him, when he heard a voice call out, “Bruce!”

“Hi,” Bruce said, the shock clear on his face as a pretty brunette woman made her way through the crowd. “How are you?” They made an awkward attempt at shaking hands.

“I'm fine.” The woman looked hesitant, like Bruce was a bomb about to explode.

“We are friends of Bruce,” Loki said, stepping in before the silence became too painful. “This is his girlfriend, Natasha Romanov, and I am Loki Odinson.”

“Betty Ross.”

After the introductions, the pounding music filled in the awkward silence. Natasha tugged on Loki's arm and Loki followed her unwillingly to the bar.

“That's his ex,” Natasha said. “As much as I enjoy people watching, that was painful.”

By the time Loki ordered a drink and made it back to Bruce, he'd been introduced to Rhodey's best friend from college, two of Tony's previous roommates, and had a long conversation with a waitress who wanted to get into acting.

Bruce looked frazzled. He took the martini from Loki's hand and downed it. “Sorry. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. I'll dance one dance with you and then I'm leaving.”

“I am honestly surprised you are speaking with me.”

“Why?”

“You were arguing with me earlier.”

Bruce shrugged. “I'm fine. That's the convenience of being able to stuff away my emotions, I guess. I feel bad for you that you're alone.”

“Are you really going to waltz with me?”

“Maybe not waltz.” There was a sparkle in Bruce's eyes that Loki didn't see often enough. “Why? Do you know how?”

“I can put one foot in front of the other. I learned most of it from watching Dancing with the Stars.”

“I can lead. I took a dance class in college for a P.E. Elective. I made a C minus.”

Loki had never danced with a man before and especially not someone like Bruce who was so confident and sexy. He wished Bruce was dancing with him because he wanted to and not just because he felt sorry for Loki being alone. It gave Loki a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach to know that this, like Bruce's relationship with Natasha, was all a sham.

Coulson and Natasha were standing on the edge of the dance floor when Loki and Bruce pushed their way to an empty spot on the floor. Natasha nodded at Loki and raised her glass.

Loki leaned closer to Bruce. “I cannot tell a soul, but Natasha and Coulson are secretly dating.”

Bruce's jaw dropped. “No they're not.”

Loki smiled. He had only told that secret to get under Bruce's skin and see him react with something other than anger or detachment, and his shock was worth it. “About five years ago, she tried to kill him and he recruited her to SHIELD. They have been dating two years. They are quite good at hiding it.”

“Seriously? I'm shocked. I had no idea.”

“Well, you rarely notice things that are in front of your face,” Loki laughed. Bruce's hand on his back sent shivers up his spine. He hadn't been so close to anyone in years. Thor always called Svadilfari his boyfriend, although Loki knew their relationship had been a trick from the beginning. He had never liked someone as much as he liked Bruce, without the tricks and the games.

They were quiet for a moment and Loki tried to get his breathing under control. “What did your ex-girlfriend have to say to you?”

“She wanted me to make a suit of armor for a private client. He's one of those crazy people who builds bunkers for the end of the world as we know it.” Bruce tilted his head to look at Loki. “How did you know she was an ex?”

“It was painfully obvious. Do you have any plans to date again?”

“No,” Bruce said almost before Loki had finished asking the question.

“You do not have any interest in it?”

“I do but it's buried deep under the layers of anger and self loathing.” Bruce gave a bitter laugh.

Loki shivered. How could Bruce be so detached and unemotional when Loki's nerves sizzled from being so close to him? “Maybe you just need to give it time.”

“It's not about giving it time.” Bruce stepped back and pushed Loki's hands away. “I can't ever date anyone again. I can't risk getting that close to anyone. It's not safe for them.”

“I apologize. I do not always recognize when I have crossed a personal boundary. Your love life is none of my concern.”

“No,” Bruce said. “It's not. Thanks for the dance.” He shoved through a crowd of people to the exit, leaving Loki alone and embarrassed.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Desperation wasn't attractive on anyone, as Thor had so kindly pointed out to Loki when he came to his room to metaphorically weep on his shoulder about Bruce. As Thor wasn't the type to accept weeping, metaphorical or not, he gave Loki a kick in the pants pep talk and then shoved him out of his room so he could sleep off his salted caramel martinis. But Loki felt better after talking with Thor, and he was actually glad they were going back into the virtual reality on Saturday. His subconscious mind had a way of stripping away all the games and tricks and forcing him to rely on survival instinct. That was much less confusing than infatuation anyway.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Bruce heard someone calling his name before he was fully aware he was back in the game. He blinked and his vision cleared. He expected to find himself alone on the ledge, but Loki was standing beside him, wind whipping his hair wildly around his face.

“I found a portal right before I drowned last time,” Loki said. “I do not know where it goes, but I think we should go through it.” He looked way too excited, but his enthuiasm was infectious and Bruce felt the smile spread across his face, too. He wondered why he didn't smile much unless he was here, but reality seemed fuzzy around the edges when he was here.

“That sounds fun.” Bruce looked over the edge. “It's a long way down.”

“It is. How much do you trust me?” Loki licked his lips, drawing Bruce's attention, and he wondered what it would be like to kiss him.

Instead, he wrapped his arms around Loki and said, “I trust you enough.” His nerves sang with a mixture of adrenaline and desire as they fell.

“Hold your breath,” Loki said and then they plunged underwater. Bruce fought the current, wrapping his legs around Loki and digging his fingernails into his back. They rushed down and then the water spit them out onto dry land. Laughing, Bruce sat up and looked around at the sparse, sandy ground. He noticed Loki watching him with an expression as though he was trying to figure him out before Thor reached out and pulled Bruce roughly to his feet.

“Where are we?”

“We are still in Nilheim,” Thor said.

“This is like the game Clue when you are able to jump from one side of the board to the other,” Loki added. “We did not cross realms, only skipped some of the tedious journey.”

“Isn't the casket hidden in a cave?” Bruce said. “I don't see any caves around here.”

Loki nodded. “Fury showed us the map yesterday, and if you recall, each cave is about five miles apart. We are close to the fifth cave now and we were at the first before. I would guess that the other Avengers all started at a cave as well. We only need to walk to find it.” He leaned over Thor's shoulder and gave him a hug from behind. “I am glad you were not eaten by a giant spider again.”

Thor scoffed and ruffled Loki's hair. “We shall try to protect one another from now on. Banner is the smallest and weakest of the group, of course, so you should both follow me.”

Bruce could tell they were getting close to the ocean when he heard the sound of seagulls and waves in the distance. It was a peaceful sound, although seagulls here most likely had poisonous talons or razor sharp teeth. He stumbled a little in the sand and grabbed Loki's arm to keep from falling.

“Are you okay?” Thor asked, glancing back.

“I'm fine,” Bruce said. He didn't want to be the weakest member of the group, the one who couldn't keep up with the demigods, but Loki didn't seem to mind hanging back with him. After a while, he slid his hand into Loki's, thinking that the worst Loki could do would be to reject him. His hand tingled when Loki squeezed his hand and didn't pull away.

“Here it is,” Thor said as they came up on the mouth of the cave. He looked back and Bruce dropped Loki's hand. He wasn't sure why he was holding his hand in the first place and he suddenly felt embarrassed with Thor's scruitiny. He wasn't attracted to men and never had been. Nilheim was messing with his mind.

“I shall go first,” Loki said when no one made a move to go in. Bruce grabbed a stick from the sand and followed him inside. The temperature was at least ten degrees cooler than the outside air. Bruce shivered.

“I am shocked at your Midgardian courage.”

“I'm a little shocked, too,” Bruce said, half laughing. He nearly bumped into Loki when he stopped suddenly and said, “I do not belive the casket is here. If it was, we would run into more creatures who want to kill us. This cave appears empty.”

“Indeed,” Thor agreed from behind Bruce. “We need to move on to the next cave.”

The words were barely out of his mouth when a hairy spider arm shot out and shoved Loki roughtly. Loki gasped and fell backwards, smacking his head against a rock.

“No!” Bruce stabbed upward instinctively as the large black spider crawled out of a huge crack in the cave. The spider screeched and Bruce stepped over Loki and stabbed again. Black blood pulsed over his hands and he gagged but managed not to vomit as the spider collapsed at his feet.

Thor lifted Loki and demanded, “Are you dying?”

If it hadn't just been a game, Bruce would have been bothered by that, but he suspected Thor was about as tactless in real life, too.

“No,” Loki gasped, holding a hand against his head as blood spilled out of the wound. “I cannot breathe.”

Thor and Bruce dragged him out to the beach. Bruce pulled off Loki's shirt and inspected him for stab wounds or bites while Thor gathered some driftwood along the beach. With shaking hands, Bruce stuffed Loki's shirt against the wound on his head and held it there.

“You protected me,” Loki said weakly. “That was brave.”

“I care about you. I know it's not real, but I couldn't watch you die.” Bruce cleared his throat. “I think your ribs are cracked. Does your head hurt?”

“I could kill you if you are too injured,” Thor said as he dumped some wood onto the sand. “It would reset the game for you.”

“Thanks so much,” Loki said, laughing and then cringing when it hurt to laugh. When Thor went back to gather more wood, Loki reached for Bruce's hand. “I wish you were the same in real life as you are in the game.”

“What do you mean?”

“There is so much emotion and vulnerablility I see when you are here. It seems this is your true self. Not the fiercely stubborn, quiet and angry man I see when you are in Avengers Mansion, but not quite the Hulking giant I see in battle. This is somewhere in between and it is beautiful.”

Loki closed his eyes and he was quiet for such a long time that Bruce thought he had gone to sleep. He was reaching for some rocks to see if he could make a spark and start a fire when Loki said, “Sometimes I think you are interested in me romantically, but I only feel that way when we are in the game. When you are not in the game, you are so different. I am interested in you, but I am waiting for you to make the first move.”

Bruce swallowed hard. Loki seemed to be waiting for an answer and Bruce didn't know what to say that he wouldn't regret later when they weren't in the game. “I am interested in you here. It's different when I'm back in reality but I don't know why. I'm a different person here and if you were smart, you'd realize it's a bad idea to fall for someone like me.” Thor came back with a pile of wood and dropped it on the stack, making Bruce jump.

“I do not need a fire,” Loki said, grimacing as he shifted to sit up a little.

“It is cold tonight and you are injured,” Thor said. “The next cave is five miles away and we can either kill you and move on or wait for the game to end, but Banner is shivering and it is already dark.”

“If you are cold, you may light a fire,” Loki said to Bruce. “I just want to warn you that I do not look the same by firelight. It bothers Thor.”

“It does not bother me, Loki.”

Bruce could feel the tension between them but he didn't understand it, and he was too cold to care. He managed to get a spark going that spread into a roaring bonfire. When he turned to look at Loki, everything made sense. The firelight danced and glinted across Loki's patterned blue skin. He looked beautiful. Bruce tried not to stare but he was fascinated.

“Are you staring because I am the most hideous thing you have ever seen?” Loki said with a wry smile that indicated he had accepted himself long ago.

“No,” Bruce said. “You look beautiful.”

Bruce watched over Loki while he slept and Thor paced the beach watching for enemies. Bruce must have drifted off briefly because he jerked awake with the feeling that he was being watched, but it was only Thor, standing silhouetted against the fire. “How is he?”

Running a hand over his face, Bruce sat up and looked at Loki. “I'm not sure. I think he's asleep.”

Thor studied Loki's unconscious form critically. “He looks more Jotun than usual.”

“How else would he look?” Bruce said, a little more sharply than he'd meant. “He _is_ Jotun.” The way Loki accepted Hulk so easily made Bruce want to protect Loki for being Jotun.

“He looks and behaves much more Jotun than he should,” Thor said. His stony expression made Bruce feel like he'd said something wrong, but Thor's face softened. “I care about him. Do not think me harsh because I wish he would be more Aesir.”

“It is harsh,” Bruce said. He didn't know what was making him say these things. Maybe it was the same lack of inhibition that made him want to kiss Loki. “You're not accepting him how he is because you're prejudiced against his race.”

Thor frowned. “It is not my prejudice that makes him unable to pick a side, so to speak. He is bisexual. He was born with an ambiguous gender and switches to suit his needs on a regular basis. Sometimes he seems good, like my beloved younger brother, and sometimes he seems like a manipulative villain. He dances on the line between both sides of everything and that is why I cannot trust him. Not only because he is Jotun, but because he has a history of lying and manipulating, of going back and forth between two completely opposing things. This is why he is so attracted to you. He sees the good and the bad in you and for some reason that appeals to him.”

Bruce blinked and he was lying on the hard metal bed again. Thor yanked off his helmet and glared at Bruce. “You should trust me more than him.”

“I don't trust anyone,” Bruce snapped.

“Ladies! Ladies!” Tony called from across the room as he removed his helmet. “Stop fighting. We might have found the casket.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

The meeting to discuss the location of the casket took four hours and everyone was grumpy afterward, so Tony took them to a tiny bar for some team bonding and relaxation.

“Want to play some pool?” Natasha asked. When Loki refused, she shrugged and said “Suit yourself,” and left Loki to stare into his beer and contemplate the meaning of life.

“Are you still grouchy?” Natasha asked when she came back to find him finishing his second beer. “Come play with us.”

The rest of the team was playing pool and Loki kept getting distracted by a certain scientist. “Maybe I am sick of games.”

“Poor Loki.” She slid into the seat next to him and patted his leg. “Tell me everything. Is this about your secret crush?”

Loki gestured for her to keep her voice down. “When we are in the game, he acts as if he is attracted to me. When we are not in virtual reality, he ignores me. I would be content with a happy medium.”

“Yeah that can get annoying. Have you tried asking him how he feels about you?”

“When we were in the game, I told him that I was waiting for him to make the first move.”

Natasha laughed. “Well that was dumb. You'll be waiting for an eternity. He's so stubborn. I had to make the first move with Phil.” Before Loki could stop her, she yelled, “Banner, come here!”

“What are you doing?”

“Manipulating your love life a bit.” She winked and patted him on the leg. “Don't worry, I'll play nice.”

Bruce sat across from Loki at the table. He was twitchy and nervous, biting his lip and playing with the button on his sleeve. “What's up?”

“I owe you a drink for beating me in pool. What do you want? I'm getting an appletini.”

“I'll have a beer.”

Natasha went to talk with the bartender, leaving Loki and Bruce alone at the table. Bruce continued to pick at a loose thread on his sleeve.

“I am interested in you,” Loki blurted out. He had meant to ease into the subject in a witty and interesting way, but all sense seemed to leave him when he was around Bruce. Bruce looked up in surprise and Loki faltered now that he had his attention. “Uh... so if you are interested in me, would you like to go on a date sometime?”

“No.”

Loki hadn't expected such a blunt answer. “No?”

“How many times do I have to tell you I'm not interested in dating? I don't get a choice. It's not safe for me to get that close to anyone.”

“Then why do you act the way you do in the game? You are giving me what they call mixed signals. You hold my hand and you flirt with me and give me false hope.”

“I can't control what I do there.” Bruce spread his hands and laughed, even though it wasn't funny. “It's my subconscious, not my logical mind. Hulk likes to smash things, and apparently my subconscious likes to go after things that aren't good for me. You're not listening to what I'm saying.”

“Your actions speak much louder than your words.”

“I'm sorry. If I give you mixed signals during the virtual reality, tell me to stop.”

“I do not want you to stop.”

Bruce looked frustrated. “Well you should. It's going to end badly for everyone involved.” He accepted his beer from Natasha and stood. “Just leave me alone.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Loki :(


End file.
